she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
