I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
