so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
