I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
