I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
