Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
