I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
