apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
