it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Bring me that man meat
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
