he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
