Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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