So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
