Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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