capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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