do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
