don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
