I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
