is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We are two peas in an std pod
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
