Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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