At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
