I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
