Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
false alarm, still single
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
