Whod you bang
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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