hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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