hell yes lets make some ravioli
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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