Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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