sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
