Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
