you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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