I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
