I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
