Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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