There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
