So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
