yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
