I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
