i will never coherently bang her
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
