dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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