i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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