Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
