the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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