took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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