Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
