At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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