hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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