Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
