There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
