he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
