If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
