Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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