she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
