hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
