I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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