Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
