Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I looked at my own cervix.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I have already put on my inside pants.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
