ugly people sure do ruin things
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
