Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
