no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
